Live, thrive, survive

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There are two incredibly powerful words in any language – and no matter what language you encounter, there’s bound to be a way to say it (though, maybe not in two words ;)).

More powerful than I want, I need, I’m dying.
More powerful than even ‘I do’.

Those two words?
Thank you.

“The Secret” is the reason that most people know about the concept of gratitude, but I heard about if for the first time when another member of Ryze, Marilyn Jenett, in about 2004.  Three and a half years later and I’m still enacting something I researched after she piqued my interest.
The concept I discovered, following Marilyn’s initial lead, was that all it takes is to say thank you.

I get up in the morning – every morning, with my children.  I take care of the breakfast chores, and then I sit down in our dining room, with my diary and I make my gratitude list. 
No matter how bad a morning I’m having, no matter how awful the day before.

For example: Read more »

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Information, Mental wellness, Op-eds, free reprint on January 12th, 2008 | No Comments »

Bi-polarbears is fast approaching its fifth anniversary, though, you wouldn’t think it from looking at the archives.  Most of what we’ve removed was down to reading it back and finding it didn’t fit with our updated mantra.
I was reading back over our first newsletters just over four years ago, and wondering whether we were deliberatly naieve, or whether our tone has just updated as we’ve grown up. It was, of course, great information, groundbreaking for back then, but it was also slightly pandering.  We wanted to make waves, just quietly.

NOW – I’m shouting from the rooftops wherever I go.  You don’t NEED to be cowed, to be held back by whatever disorder you face.  I’m back at university this year,raising my kids, living well, and thriving wherever I go.  I’m updating my book on Bipolar disorder, and am looking forward to releasing that officially as soon as its finished.

So in this new year, look at what you’re doing, and how you’re living.  Adjust the things that don’t work – and move with the things that do.

Happy New Year everyone!

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Mental wellness on January 4th, 2008 | No Comments »

How are you handling your resolutions this year?
If like the majority of the population (of those that actually make resolutions), you find yourself failing in your pledges, for various reasons (good and bad) and you want to try something new, or want to actually manage to make good on your promises, there’s several things you can do.

First and foremost, make sure you know what you actually want.  Resolutions shouldn’t be made because you want to sway people, or because they ‘make us look good’ – but should be genuine improvements on your life, and the lives of those around you.
Work out where you want to be in a year – do you want to have cleared debts, moved to a new neighbourhood?  Lost weight, improved on a job?

Once you have your overall goal, split it up into managable chunks over your year. If you split it down well enough, and you can achieve each goal, you’ll be garuanteed to reach your projects by year’s end, and possibly reach your goal sooner if you have a breakthrough in your monthly plans.  And if you have a setback, its easier to adjust smaller goals than ‘the uber goal of dooooom’(tm).
The final thing to remember about goals is that as long as you are TRYING, even if you don’t reach the main goal you set, you should have at least achieved something of your goal, which will stand you in good stead for achieving anything you go onto later.

I’ve got three resolutions this year:
1) LOSE WEIGHT -I was placed on anti depressants this year, before finding the route cause of my depression, so I came off anti depressants but the weight has been harder to lose.  So I would like to lose enough weight to fit back into my dresses.
2)CONTINUE WITH MY STUDIES -I have had a blast in my first term of University, and my tutors have been wonderful, so I’m hoping that will continue this term.  I’ve got four essays to hand in when I return, so I’m really looking forward to that.
3)KEEP UP WITH MY IMPORTANT SITES – there are several things I want to keep up with, my books site, my blogs, and here, so I’m making time to write every week.

It’d be great to see what your resolutions are and how you handle them, so let us know!

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Information, Mental wellness on December 27th, 2007 | No Comments »

I’ve had a couple of comments about a post a couple of months back, about the fact that it *seems* I’m saying bipolar disorder is comparitable to PMT. I had another editor friend go back and read it, and she’s told me that’s not how it reads, and that the person that emailed me demanding that I remove it, because I’m adding to the ‘uneducated’ masses is wrong.

And her reaction was exactly what I’m talking about.
Bipolars tend to jump to conclusions. Even *I* do it and I work with words on a daily basis. We don’t always understand that just because we’ve got a perfect grasp of what Bipolar disorder actually *IS* that others need something to reference to.
So - I’m going to explain one myth that I talked about specifically.

Myth: Bipolars have an excuse for ‘bad’ behaviour.

Fact: We are just as in control of our reactions as most others, most of the time. Bipolar disorder isn’t any more of an excuse for rudeness than having a bad day, PMT or sleep problems. Sometimes our control is a bit stretched, especially in times of stress and difficulty, but the fact of the matter remains that we cannot excuse our bad behavior any more than anyone else.

The MYTH is that as bipolars, we can be excused for everything we do, simply because we are bipolar. We can be bad tempered, throw tantrums, beguile, lie, cheat, steal….you get the picture - because we’re bipolar?
And I say NO.
I say that just as people with PMT are expected to operate within the bounds of acceptable human behaviour, on a day to day basis - so are bipolars. Of course, there’s exceptions to the rule - sometimes we’re not ‘behaving badly’. Sometimes we’re out of control - which is why I’ve picked up this myth where I left off.

Being bipolar is sometimes like having a designated driver. We’ shrug into’ that persona, because its the only way to do our ‘every day’ things. We drive ourselves through the day, to the safest places we can find, until there’s nothing left, and we’re on our own again. Its not that we’re drunk, but in control of an imperfect reaction to the world. Which means we CAN be dangerous too. Or just sad. Or too happy to control ourselves properly.

Bipolars ARE just as capable of being ‘normal’ - or within the bounds of what society expects of its inhabitants. But sometimes, just sometimes, we need a designated driver to pull us out. Be that our alteregos, or our personas, or our carers.

In the next couple of months, I’m going to be specifically writing content to support - thank - and explain work with our carers. Because though we’re strong, wonderful, amazing, perfect souls, our carers are ANGELS.

Filed under: Information, Mental wellness, Op-eds, carer on October 24th, 2007 | 1 Comment »

I’m going back to univeristy this Autumn.  I’m going back to study Creative writing and Criminology (which has lots of Psych and sociology mixed in!).  I’m so excited, but it means I may be a little more scarce than usual.  I will, of course, try to do as muc as I can, and if you’d like to help, we’ll be sticking up an Amazon wishlist for my course books and other stuff - I’ve never done this before, so its an experiment of sorts.

IF you do though, and you leave your name and URL - I’ll put you up, credited. :)  I’ll post more later though.

Anyway, laters gators!

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Information, Resources, and more on August 22nd, 2007 | No Comments »

From Stircrazy

People with bipolar disorder — or manic depression — suffer from an accelerated shrinking of their brain, researchers at the University of Edinburgh have found.

…”Although we do no yet know the cause of this brain shrinkage, it may be that repeated episodes of illness harm the brain and lead to the decline. Another possibility is that the brain changes are caused by stress or genetic factors, which tend to lead both to more frequent illness episodes and to greater brain loss. Further research will be required.”

[source: http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/07/070720103036.htm]

Its probaby a very odd thing to reference, but the first thing I thought of was witchdoctors, shrinking our heads.

The post goes on to talk about something I’ve been saying for a while - that lithium (possibly) makes our brains shrink.
Anything that increases certain  elements in our blood damage our brains - that damage is sometimes used to control other disorders and health issues, such as epilepsy, and migranes, but in the case of bipolar disorder, I believe this may be a very bad thing.

I believe that stronger, and more in depth studies of bipolar disorder will have to be completed, at which point, we, those of us that have to agree to the treatments, or are placed on them, can choose whether we want to run the risk of damage, shrinkage or anything else that may, or may not come up in the course of our treatment. With informed choice, its possible to build, and rebuild our lives effectively, and survive.

I’d also recommend exploring ‘Stir Crazy’.  It looks like its quite a good blog - and we’ve blogrolled it here.

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Mental wellness, Op-eds, Resources on July 30th, 2007 | 1 Comment »

(authors note – we’ve spent the last several days retrieving and reposting some of the content we used to have on our various site incarnations and I thought this was worth running now, instead of back in the archives)

Someone said that she was about to ask me a dumb question this month and then proceeded to ask some things about bipolar disorder that I’ve answered many times. So this month I decided to do a crash course on my perceptions of bi-polar disorder.

Myth: bipolar disorder isn’t manic depression

Fact: Bipolar disorder is just another term for manic depression. Typically people with depression are referred to as unipolar (as in they only go to one extreme, or ‘pole’) and people with bipolar disorder (manic depression) have two extremes or ‘poles’. Bipolar disorder is further characterized by grades, dependent on the severity of your mood swings and whether there are some other characteristics alongside them.

Myth: You can diagnose bipolar disorder with a blood test

Fact: Not that I know of. Bipolar disorder does not have markers, and though there is some evidence of genetics being able to keep track of what is going on, the human genome mapping project is a long way from finished and therefore not everything is understood.

Myth: Bipolar disorder is easy to diagnose

Fact: It’s missed in most people until someone that knows exactly what they are looking at sits down and talks to the patient. What could be mistaken for moody teens can sometimes be bipolar disorder. I’m not saying ALWAYS, just sometimes.

Myth: Bipolars are easy to spot/can’t hold down a job

Fact: Where it’s true that it’s easier to tell if we are different when we are at one of our extremes, not every bipolar gets really hyper or really depressed. Some of us are as ‘normal’ as the rest of the world. And if the bipolar disorder is under control then it’s not that hard to hold down a job. Like everything else it’s dependent on both our triggers and our control over ourselves.

Myth: Bipolars have an excuse for ‘bad’ behaviour.

Fact: We are just as in control of our reactions as most others, most of the time. Bipolar disorder isn’t any more of an excuse for rudeness than having a bad day, PMT or sleep problems. Sometimes our control is a bit stretched, especially in times of stress and difficulty, but the fact of the matter remains that we cannot excuse our bad behavior any more than anyone else.

Myth: Bipolars aren’t aware of how they should behave

Fact: Like I said above, Bipolars are no different to people that deal with depression or anything else. We DO have an extra component, but that just makes most of us ‘faster’. When we are at one of our extremes we can be slightly more difficult to relate to and interact with, but we are inherently ‘normal’.

Myth: Moods don’t mix and it’s very easy to judge where someone will be based on what they’ve been saying and doing.

Fact: Some people are very stable bipolars. Some people however, medicated or not, are not stable. These people do need help and support until they find their feet.

Myth: You cannot get pregnant if you are bi-polar

Fact: I’m the mother of two children, though admittedly they didn’t realize I was bipolar till after I had my eldest child. It is true however, that some of the medication they use to control bipolar disorder are very dangerous and not suitable for use when pregnant. It’s always best to discuss any plans that would affect your medication with your doctor or other professional health care official.

Bipolar disorder hasn’t been fully investigated, and isn’t understood like depression. It IS caused by a chemical imbalance. What is harder to determine is why it happens and whether it’s a genetic inheritance or a fault at the level of DNA that sometimes occurs. Bipolars are usually medicated, because severe mood swings can be incredibly disruptive, and sometimes dangerous

There is a lot of work to go into the effective tracking of this disease, and a lot more understanding needs to start, as most of the misconceptions about bipolar disorder cause many misunderstandings and gaps in knowledge. The battles against this need to start at grass roots level; encouragement and support from the community and the spread of understanding is a must.

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Information, Op-eds, Resources on July 23rd, 2007 | 1 Comment »

There are three simple things you can do to support your mental health and wellness, no matter what diagnosis you have.

The first is to STOP.
Stop running in circles - stop torturing yourself, and others and stop telling yourself that you can ignore it and ‘it’ will go away.

The second is to accept.

Denial in all forms is one of the hardest reactions to get past.  We’re raised in a society that believes ‘normal’ is the most valuable commodity in describing and categorising people.  Whilst being ‘normal’ is no more than a state of mind, being a depressive, or a bipolar, or having ADHD, or any of a myriad of other medical diagnoses doesn’t mean you’re not ‘normal’.  After all, its normal for you.  Getting your head around that concept is one of the best ways to start adjusting to and understanding  how your world relates to you, and your disorder.  Which, in turn, gives you a way to adjust to and intergrate your diagnosis into your life.

And the third and final step is to live.
There is no physical way to change what you are at diagnosis.  You may get better - and you can control anything that you’re diagnoised with by taking prescribed medical action, be that medication, counsellings and beyond.  Many people give in when diagnosed.  They say they’re fighting, they say they’re losing the battle.  But most people forget simply to live, thrive, and survive their disease.  There is no reason not to live on, after diagnosis - and no reason to give in.

D Kai Wilson is a mental health writer with personal experience of depression and bipolar disorder.  Diagnosed over 10 years ago, she’s spent the past five helping to educate, support and aid others in understanding bipolar disorder.
Her first non fiction book, Pictures in the Dark is available on pre-order now.

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Information, Mental wellness, Op-eds, free reprint on July 17th, 2007 | No Comments »

Its been a busy couple of months here - for whatever reason, the content I had queued for you guys wasn’t clearing the queue and posting itself, so over the next day or so I’m probably going to reinstall wordpress and import everything again.  Its not even letting me save them as published, oddly.

Anyway - I haven’t forgotten you - I just had other things going on.  We’re looking at a November release for the 2nd edition of Pictures in the Dark - I’ve chosen not to release it over the summer, simply because I’m a mother first, and author whenever I have time.  We’re also going to be ramping up our posting schedule here - and hopefully (fingers crossed) gaining a couple of new bloggers along the way.

If you’d like to read a small, free report I put together on moodswings, head on over to http://bipolarhometruths.com and let me know what you think!   I wrote it primarily for bipolars, and would love your feedback.

Filed under: Uncategorized on June 5th, 2007 | No Comments »

I’ve spent the last year and a half or so researching books, and writing, but time and again I come back to what makes bipolars so special.

I’ve discovered that there’s no one profile of bipolars.  There’s no one way to spot us, or others - and we’re all equally unique.  Which means that the last couple of months, since I met up with a family member that wished that bipolars could have the disorder irradicated, and that there was a way to treat bipolar disorder so that it didn’t exist - I’ve been questioning what I am and what it all means to me.

The long and short of it is that bipolar disorder, for me at least, is a blessing and a curse.  There are some places I wish I could interact and deal with things better.  I wish it were easier on my partner - and I wish I didn’t have the completley obsessive trait that goes with some bipolar subfunctions.

But having said that, I love that I can work on a couple of dozen things at once (and finish them!) and I don’t really ‘think’ the way I should - which means I can see odd things - patterns and downright warped ideas.  Its a great talent for a writer - seeing things differently makes things really easy to come up with ideas that others might not.

So, I guess, I’m saying that we’re all equally unique - and bipolar disorder isn’t always a bad thing.

What do you think?

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Op-eds on May 17th, 2007 | No Comments »