Live, thrive, survive

Imagine, opening around 1000 emails a year, each asking you to talk them out of their suicidal mood, or tell you they aren’t crazy.

That’s what we face, with a smile, at bipolarbears every day.

Could you tell someone though, that they aren’t crazy, that what they are feeling, how they are faring with their newly or not so newly discovered mental health diagnosis is normal? Could you reassure them that they aren’t going slowly insane?

I can’t. I can’t honestly say I’m not completely and utterly off the rails. Despite the control I have over my environment, the support of my friends and family, and of course, an intimate understanding of exactly how my mind works, I can’t really, honestly say I’m not insane.

Mainly because I’m really not sure its a bad thing.

Are you?

I mean, of course – its terrible to be hospitalised – but being diagnosed, though it takes a bit of adjusting, isn’t such a bad thing. There’s a reason for how you feel for a start. The roller-coaster is something you can actually embrace, in moderation. And its an opportunity.

Yep, you read that right – its an opportunity. An opportunity for many things – to learn more about yourself, to find out more about mental health. And to connect with others.

Though, if you’re honest with yourself, if someone contacted you, asking YOU to reassure them that they aren’t crazy, what would your first reaction be?

Every year bipolarbears, my first online project, receives close to 1000 emails, begging for the answer. I’m no doctor, no scientist. And I go off the rails spectacularly several times a year. Yet we’re asked to tell people that they aren’t crazy, that its normal, that its ok to feel this way.

And each of these emails gets a personal response. But I thought it might be good to repeat it.

You’re not crazy, normal is a setting on a washing machine, and of course its OK to feel whichever way you want, as long as you’re not a danger to yourself, or others. If you are, something needs addressed in an environment that may not seem like a haven, but can be about as safe as you can hope for, and that’s under medical care. Not necessarily hospitalisation, but at least under some form of supervision.

Something that you should remember though, is that approaching other bipolars and asking if you’re crazy, can hurt them too. It smarts, partly because some of us have been in that position, and partly because that’s how some of the less knowledgeable members of society see bipolar disorder.

We’re not crazy. We’re not even really different. We just relate to our emotions and feel them in a way that seems odd. We’re still human, still people – still capable of loving, hating, living. We’re still those that you love, those that you work with. Just with a different label.

People need to start taking responsibility for their words – so asking another bipolar if you are crazy WILL hurt them – it hurts me to hear someone say that – to read it in an email. If you’re crazy, and you’re bipolar, and that’s the ONLY reason for it, then, of course, I’m crazy, my friends are crazy, my staff are crazy.

Oh, did I forget to mention that?

We’re not an exception to the rule here - we’re rewriting them.  There’s no where in thewhole world that says you can’t be a great person - no matter what you are, or what you have - no where that says you can’t succeed in your dreams.  No where that says your perception of the world is wrong - just…different.

I don’t revel in my mood swings, but I’m adjusting, slowly, to understanding myself, and understanding what makes me tick. And I use what I can of it to my advantage.

I’m multi published – a recognised poet, and photographer – an artist of a decent calibre – a coder with a love for all things clients, and of course, a writer. I’m a success.

And I think some of it is down to accepting and embracing that no, I’ll never ‘function’ in an environment that doesn’t take into account my rather special, if not strange outlook, but I can still contribute to the world around me, and do so in a positive way.

All it takes is three simple words.

“Live, thrive, Survive!”

I hope you’ll join me.

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Mental wellness, Op-eds on August 31st, 2006