As it’s the end of an era tomorrow – I’m going to hand in a dissertation that’s been where I’ve been for the last four years.

As this is the case, I’d love to know what you guys would like to see?  Bi-polarbears is one of the few sites that I’ve consistently ran for the last eight years, on and off.  But we’ve changed direction so often that I thought I’d ask the community.

What are you interested in seeing?  More or less on what you’d like to see?

Thoughts on articles and thoughtful op-eds you’d like to see?  Conversations about (x)?  Samples of the book?

Let me know

Positives are always great to hear aren’t they?
One of the things that I’ve always said about Bi-Polarbears is that we’re funded by my other projects.  One of which is that I work  as an SEO Copywriter.  I love my job, and I’m delighted that I get to do what I’m doing – but sometimes it takes me away from what I’m doing with you guys.

The other side to my writing coin is that I publish books.
I thought I’d share some news about my books – if you’re interested in supporting Bi-Polearbears, then picking these books up will really help. (If you’d like to keep up with everything I’m doing, then you can head on over to my personal facebook page at DKaiWilsonViola)

November

Glass Block – D Kai Wilson-Viola’s first thriller – you can see more at DarknessPD .  As I’ve finally graduated, this is so much easier to take care of.

January

The self publishing author’s guide to editing  – KDP (Amazon)/ Smashwords

February

Pictures in the Dark 2nd Edition.

And we’re looking at releasing books on a more regular schedule into the New Year!

We now have our OWN Facebook Page.  Like us at Bi-polarbears!

One of the few things that tends to inspire a lot of smiles in our house is success stories – especially if those success stories are writers or other artists that live with bipolar.  As many of you know, I’m at Uni right now – and I graduate (finally) with what I hope to be a 2:1.  Also of note is the fact that Glass Block, my first novel, is finally coming out in the next few weeks.

One of the things that I’ve learned is that if you don’t fight for your dreams, you won’t get them.  Often I’ve been told, especially by people that I thought would support me, that  I should just surrender to the inevitable – allow them to hospitalise me, and stop writing.  I’ve refused on several notable occassions, though I try not to dwell too much.

I’d love to encourage anyone that’s thinking of chasing anything to do so – our dreams are what powers our happiness after all.  There are scams out there, but if you’re careful and listen to your freinds and family, they’ll probably help you to protect yourself.

And without further ado, I thought I’d show off Glass Block and let you know where you can ‘fan’ me on Facebook, if it’s your cup of tea.

Glass Block

When Big Brother fell out of popularity in the early part of the 21st century  it was replaced with ever more ‘realistic’ reality TV shows, till the need for this was replaced with a need for fantasy.  In an attempt to resurrect the old format some die hard fans filmed themselves locked in with a recently released murderer.  The person to get out got the money from the stream sales at the end.  Needless to say they were slaughtered.

Word of this spread on the internet and a ‘sanctioned’ version by the UCPS (United coalition of Prison Services) was established.  Brought in from Darkness, one of the cities providing most of the prisoners, most of which he’d been responsible for collaring, Elliot Peters is forced into a nightmare world where the walls are made of glass and people vote as to whether you survive.

You can see more details and sign up for the mailing list at Glass Block@DarknessPD, or ‘fan’ me on D Kai Wilson-Viola’s Facebook page.

I know who you are – you’ve just been diagnosed, and you’re thinking that your life is about to end, either metaphorically, or (please don’t do it), literally.

I know who you are, because I’ve been there.  Been there several times.
So, the first thing I want you to do is go grab a soothing cup of *whatever* you love.  You can even have a tiny shot of liqueur in it if it helps, but only a tiny bit.  Don’t drive after, you’ve had bad news anyway, so you shouldn’t be driving.  You’re in shock, and we’re going to fix that.
I’ll wait right here.

You good?  Huggin’ the mug?  I know I was.  For me it was hot, sweet, as strong as I could get it, tea.
Firstly.  Your diagnosis isn’t a death sentence.  It’s not even a commuted death sentence.  Take my word for it when I say that there are some incredibly successful bipolars out there in the world.  Dare I say ‘HI!!!’ now and wave enthusiastically.
Your meds are possibly going to feel like a death sentence for a while – but there is no medical treatment out there that exists that we take that won’t make you feel a bit lousy, at least some of the time.  Unfortunately, the majority of treatments for mental health contain something that makes us dopey.  It might be a receptor inhibitor, it might be a flat-out sedative – whatever it is, go with it for a while.  Be that zombie.  Don’t embrace it because you’ll need to start proactively fighting it soon enough, but it’s perfectly ok to regroup.
Please, remember to drink your comforting drink.  Shock’s a nasty thing.
See, still not dead.
I wanted to tell you something though.  It’s a secret so lean in close.

There is an up side to bipolar disorder – and it’s not the manic phase.  it’s not the fact that we’re treatable and we’re slowly being accepted into society. It’s the fact that….you ready for this….?
This is who YOU are.  Bipolar disorder may not seem like it to many, but it’s possibly part of your personality, and it’s definitively part of the way you see the world – good and bad.  There’s a reason for feeling the way you do, and it’s not that you’re a dick, a douche, or don’t belong. 
More tea ALWAYS makes it better by the way.
Look at it this way – you’ve discovered that you are this *person* living a kind of  lie, trying to remain as ‘normal’ as you can, in a world that doesn’t slow down one iota for people who don’t adjust well.  You could have felt like your world is out of control.  Your world could BE out of control, but it’s not all your fault.  I’m not saying some of it isn’t, but you know, sometimes common sense isn’t what we have when we’re going off the rails.

So – no pity parties – not for long anyway – they have a habit of turning into a national day/week/month of mourning if you’re not careful – and don’t mark today as a negative.  Be kind to yourself, grab another soothing drink – have that cry if you need it, and then – start learning about the ‘new’ you and how to be kind to yourself.
You’ll thank me – and yourself – for it later.

Editor’s note – this post got quite a lot of attention recently, so I brought it forward to today….

A recent study conducted under clinical criteria highlighted something terrifying for those of us who live with, love someone with, or care for people in our community with bipolar disorder.

(extract)
Relapse and impairment in bipolar disorder

MJ Gitlin, J Swendsen, TL Heller and C Hammen
Department of Psychiatry, University of California, Los Angeles 90024- 6968, USA.

OBJECTIVE: The purpose of this study was to evaluate the outcome of bipolar disorder in the context of maintenance pharmacotherapy.
METHOD: Eighty-two bipolar outpatients were followed prospectively for a mean of 4.3 years (minimum of 2 years); symptom rating and psychosocial outcome scales were used, and pharmacotherapy was rated on a 5-point scale.
RESULTS: Despite continual maintenance treatment, survival analysis indicated a 5-year risk of relapse into mania or depression of 73%. Of those who relapsed, two-thirds had multiple relapses. Relapse could not be attributed to inadequate medication. Even for those who did not relapse, considerable affective morbidity was observed. A measure of cumulative affective morbidity appeared to be a more sensitive correlate of psychosocial functioning than was the number of relapses. Poor psychosocial outcome paralleled poor syndromal course. Poor psychosocial functioning, especially occupational disruption, predicted a shorter time to relapse. Depressions were most strongly related to social and family dysfunction.
CONCLUSIONS: Even aggressive pharmacological maintenance treatment does not prevent relatively poor outcome in a significant number of bipolar patients.

(taken from – http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/152/11/1635)

These conclusions are not new – your own Doctor or GP will tell you these things, citing it as the primary reason that you should be placed and stay on medication. Its important however, to note that ‘even aggressive pharmacological mantinence’ doesn’t change this outcome – meds don’t always help. The highest rates of ‘success’ with bipolar disorder come from the patients that understand their mood swings, their reasoning, their reactions – the underlying chemistry that changes their moods, and their investigation into tailoring their own understanding and treatment of their disorder.

Bipolar disorder is debilitating for some people – it can destroy lives, families and support structures that otherwise would survive anything – and its important to ensure that if you, or a loved one, has a mental health issue of any kind, including bipolar disorder, that you are fully informed and can face the consequences, gifts and obstacles of that diagnosis with dignity, pride and preparation.

D Kai Wilson

D Kai Wilson is a writer, artist, and bipolar one businesswoman with an avid interest in bipolar disorder.
Her first book, ‘Pictures in the Dark – a bipolar’s guide to good mental health’ is available today from http://nonfiction.booksbykai.com

I thought I’d do a quick summary ‘update’ or sorts and let everyone know where we are and what we’re up to right now.

Books

‘Pictures’ and the ‘Unnamed’ project are doing really quite well – but for reasons I’ll explain in a sec, I’ve been busy with other stuff so they kinda took a back burner.

Communities

I’m now a co-mod over on Facebook for Bipolar Awareness – Stop the Stigma – I’d love it if you could stop by – it’s a constant stream of interesting articles about bipolar disorder and mental health too.

Life stuff

I’m back at Uni to complete my 3rd year, which is, to be honest, seriously exciting.  I didn’t feel it last year, because I was so snowed with buying a house and moving in, and the other stuff that went on, but this year I really am excited.
I’m also delighted that we’re in said house now – it took a while, but it’s sure been worth it.

Finally, I was put on meds about six months ago.  I think I’ve finally got perspective to talk about it, so I’m planning on doing some ‘talking’ about meds versus no meds in the next few weeks/months.

And with that – what’s new with you?

I’ve been on a break from everything – unsurprisingly, in my family, there’s more than one special needs member, and we’ve been spending a lot of time dealing with my daughter.  And then, by the time I discovered I had the time to get on with the stuff that I should, including this blog, I felt demotivated, tired, and a little bewildered.

A year ago yesterday, I banged my head hard enough to cause lasting damage (that they can’t see on an MRI, but has caused problems from memory and sleep disturbances, to decreased creativity, worse depression and beyond).  It’s taken nearly a year to accept that this ‘change’ has caused issues that I can’t simply laugh off, and yesterday was an odd, pensive day.

Things have been changing for me for the last year – I’ve been adjusting to finding it harder to work, or focus on much for periods of time longer than a couple of hours, I’m in my third year at Uni, starting in two weeks time, and I’ve got a lot of thinking to do about how to repair the damage that an errant hacker did around here.  But we’re back, hopefully this time for good.

And to kick off, we’re looking for new writers, to inject fresh voices, either as guest posts, or as regular writers, to the site.  If you’re interested, drop me a line.

Bi-polarbears has a manifesto, that we use to guide our information sharing.  I’ve been asked recently how I created the manifesto, and what it means to people around me, and you, my readers.

The Manifesto

It’s very easy to look at the list of things we talk about and wonder what we mean, and easier still to misconstrue them (as some comments have highlighted ) so I thought I’d explain what I mean.

Bi-polarbears aims to:

Offer support, and honest, open views on the current state of the global view on mental health.

(we share information that isn’t ‘controlled’ or ‘influenced’ by sponsorship and can be readily translated into slightly more understandable language where possible, and are not geographically limited to what we talk about)

We aim to encourage and empower people to understand that mental health is not a stigma, just another way of relating to people, and that variety is an integral part of being human.

(Not a stigma = there is no shame in the diagnosis we all have – and if you’re doing everything you can to support yourself, no shame in letting others know.  Variety is integral part of humanity = genetically speaking, we can’t all be perfect, and personally speaking, it’s not any-one’s fault )

Offer the understanding and knowledge of when to get help

(A lot of the people I encounter expect to have to cope alone and don’t seek help when they need it – or worse, hide because they think accepting help is a form of weakness – on the flip-side, there are people out there that ‘use’ mental health as an excuse and self diagnose.  Neither is a great way to live, so we offer support for both)
Offer the experiences of others on and off of all forms of medication

Offer a venue of interactivity through essays and posts (blog) and an informal meeting place to discuss anything about mental health (forum)

(the forums are gone now and may never be back because we took so long looking after them that we couldn’t write articles – but we intend to share what we learn in accessible ways and hopefully promote discussion)

Above all though, we’re here for you.

(so, if there’s something you want me to write about or explain, let me know!)

Since starting to study psychology at University, I’ve discovered a couple of things about my personality, studies and how though lots of them appear to repeat the same things, over and over again, some do actually pull in information of interest.

I’m going to explain my research process in greater depth in another post, because it works for academic, personal and professional projects, but I have google alert emails daily that post information (news and blog posts mostly) that mention my keywords prominently.  In the ‘bipolar+disorder’ set, I found this link, and wanted to share the underlying idea with you.

The link was called ‘common causes of schizophrenia and Bipolar disorder’ and talks about a study that was undertaken in Sweden and has recently appeared in the Lancet.

What the study found

Though I’ve not seen this study myself (because I can’t access Aleph, the computer’s library from home), it says that there was a statistical link found between those with bipolar disorder and the incidence of schizophrenia, and vice versa.  Net result of the study of 2 million families was interesting, and probably not for the reasons listed in the report.

Of the 2 million studied families, 35,985 (1.7% – or just under 2 in 100) had schizophrenia and 40,487 (2.02%) had bipolar disorder as a confirmed diagnosis.  In total, they amount to less than 4% of the studied group, and yet, they found that there was a link of increased incidence between the two diseases if you have one in your family.

I know how convoluted these studies can be, first hand – and my tutors deliberately teach me to question the information in every study to ensure that it meets both scientific, ethical and common sense standards.  And the question now arises, having looked at the brief abstract, ‘is there an increased or correlatable percentage between the 96% and their chance of developing bipolar disorder?  What diseases make up the ’1 in 4′ percentage that is always so highly vaunted in medical fields, if bipolar and schizophrenia only make up 4% in these studied cases, and most importantly, is there a real world value to this information, other than a statistical link to two diseases that paralyze families?

I’ll let you know what I find out

I’ve been asked a couple of times lately why bi-polarbears has never founded any form of ‘social network’ for bi-polars.

The long and short answer is that to run a community ‘like that’, beyond the forum, would need resources that I’d hate to even consider – resources such as a psych council on hand to deal with any crises.

And to be completely honest, I believe that we shouldn’t ‘segment’ ourselves away from society – and to build a community designed solely for ‘us’ would once again add to the stigmata surrounding bipolar disorder.

And that’s the short answer.  The longer answer is – I don’t segment my own life, and would never expect others to do the same – where we gain support is where we’re all united, and in a community of like minded individuals, we’re not completely at one with our wider community.  I believe that we pull strength from those that cope ‘differently’ to us and those others are role models in some ways to more accurate and authentic behaviours.