“Mental health isn’t contagious.
It can be genetic.
Mental health isn’t a joke
Though we do sometimes laugh about it.”
D Kai Wilson, talk at a mental health group in 2005
One of the biggest things I’ve found out about mental health in the last nine years is that there are no concrete answers.
Its kinda hard to look back on the last several years and realise I was diagnosed with a mental health illness at nineteen.
Nineteen.
Imagine it for a moment - you’re just out of high school - finding ‘your’ place in the world, and suddenly, you get a bombshell dropped on you. You’re not ‘just moody’, you’re depressed and its not as easy as to just snap out of as you may have been lead to believe.
And though things have advanced, incredibly, in the nine years since my diagnosis (and the slightly later one of bipolar disorder, seven years ago) things still haven’t changed ENOUGH.
True, for some people its now hip, and important to have a label that says that thier behaviour has a reason - its used as an excuse more and more nowadays. A celeb’s doing something wierd?
Oh, of course, they’re depressed, forgive them for it.
And yet, on the other side of the sword, people aren’t supported and are sometimes, flat out rejected when they find themselves in the same situation.
I say that we should extend the tolerance only as far as supporting people through the consequences, not to outright forgiveness.
A recent study conducted under clinical criteria highlighted something terrifying for those of us who live with, love someone with, or care for people in our community with bipolar disorder.
(extract)
Relapse and impairment in bipolar disorder
MJ Gitlin, J Swendsen, TL Heller and C Hammen
Department of Psychiatry, University of California, Los Angeles 90024- 6968, USA.
OBJECTIVE: The purpose of this study was to evaluate the outcome of bipolar disorder in the context of maintenance pharmacotherapy.
METHOD: Eighty-two bipolar outpatients were followed prospectively for a mean of 4.3 years (minimum of 2 years); symptom rating and psychosocial outcome scales were used, and pharmacotherapy was rated on a 5-point scale.
RESULTS: Despite continual maintenance treatment, survival analysis indicated a 5-year risk of relapse into mania or depression of 73%. Of those who relapsed, two-thirds had multiple relapses. Relapse could not be attributed to inadequate medication. Even for those who did not relapse, considerable affective morbidity was observed. A measure of cumulative affective morbidity appeared to be a more sensitive correlate of psychosocial functioning than was the number of relapses. Poor psychosocial outcome paralleled poor syndromal course. Poor psychosocial functioning, especially occupational disruption, predicted a shorter time to relapse. Depressions were most strongly related to social and family dysfunction.
CONCLUSIONS: Even aggressive pharmacological maintenance treatment does not prevent relatively poor outcome in a significant number of bipolar patients.
(taken from - http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/152/11/1635)
These conclusions are not new - your own Doctor or GP will tell you these things, citing it as the primary reason that you should be placed and stay on medication. Its important however, to note that ‘even agressive pharmacological mantinence’ doesn’t change this outcome - meds don’t always help. The highest rates of ’success’ with bipolar disorder come from the patients that understand thier moodswings, thier reasonings, thier reactions - the underlying chemistry that changes thier moods, and thier investigation into tailoring thier own understanding and treatement of thier disorder.
Bipolar disorder is debilitating for some people - it can destroy lives, families and support structures that otherwise would survive anything - and its important to ensure that if you, or a loved one, has a mental health issue of any kind, including bipolar disorder, that you are fully informed and can face the consequences, gifts and obstacles of that diagnosis with dignity, pride and preparation.
D Kai Wilson
D Kai Wilson is a writer, artist, and bipolar one businesswoman with an avid interest in bipolar disorder.
Her first book, ‘Pictures in the Dark - a bipolar’s guide to good mental health’ is available today from http://nonfiction.booksbykai.com
While a blog is great for all of the mutable, shifting information we store on the site, our OP-eds and more, I’m building reference and resource sections behind the blog so that we can use them, partially as reference for things we’re referring to, and partially to offer yet more information on bipolar disorders and mental health.
We’ll be taking requests for sections, but the list so far is ‘Parenting and mental health’, ‘work and mental health’, Mental health awareness, conditions and medical information and ‘reference’ where we’ll, hopefully, store information on herbs, medication, ‘etc’. Eventually, we’ll also add a news blog, with summaries of everything that’s going on in the mental health community.
So that’s where we’re at just now.
Acceptance is a funny concept and a strange word. it can mean
anything from laying a small part of a problem to rest, to
defeat and loss.
Acceptance is calm. It’s colour would be blue, serene, and
light. And it’s one of the greatest healers available to anyone.
To accept, first, generally, you must know what has upset you
Be it your diagnosis or something you think you’ve done, something
someone else has done, or something you can’t change, acceptance is one of
the ultimate ends.
Acceptance is also about facing flaws.
None of us are perfect, and to claim that we are is madness. Our mental
health problems, however, are not directly our fault. We cannot be held
responsible for the ‘flaw’ itself. We may be held responsible for how we
’show’ that flaw to others. It’s also part of our path to accept that some do not
understand and maybe never can.
Acceptance is gradual, and just as time is a great healer, the energy you expend
fighting the issues you accept can be expended elsewhere, in educating others, or
continuing to grow as an individual.
Acceptance is also about knowing, that though you are individual, you are not alone.
It’s not something that you can just do though - there are no tried and true formulae
that will bring you peace and acceptance in one fell swoop. Acceptance is like a song,
you have to follow the tune all the way to the end of the path before it works.
(added back into the archives from retrieved files from the Internet archive)
Article Title: Dare to Dream
Author Name: Donna “Kai” Wilson
Contact Email Address: Donnakaiwilson at gmail.com
Category: Mental Health/motivational
Word Count: 657
Copyright Date: 2003
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dare to Dream
Donna “Kai” Wilson, web mistress/owner, Bipolarbears site
www.bi-polarbears.com
I was asked recently about my attitudes to work and why I do so many things. I was younger than the person in question, and thought I’m more established, I’ve only been working seriously for a year. This person was a success in her own right, though on a different level to me.
I raise my two children, both under 4, and care for my house and my family diligently. I own numerous companies and websites, and co-own an ‘enterprise’ that incorporates all of these ventures. I’m an article writer and moderator for a successful writers group, I work my ass off from 8 in the morning till 2 the next morning most days. I do this though because I want to.
My ‘secret’?
Basically I dare to dream. Many people I know don’t feel that they are worthy of following their dreams or even if they have followed it for a few years, to take the next step.
Daring to dream isn’t easy. Giving yourself permission to work guiltlessly is something that needs to be built upon.
The first step is acting professionally. If you are a SAHWP (stay at home Worker Parent) then you need to define boundaries and business practices. Give yourself permission to work during the day, even if it’s snatched here and there at first. Work out when your muse and optimal working times occur and take that first step to fulfilling your dreams. In other words, if you write best at three in the afternoon, with a hot cup of coffee and napping kids, do that. If you work best late at night, then do so, remembering though to cater to the needs of your sleeping patterns.
There is no point in telling people that you are a professional writer unless you reflect that in your work practices. Work practices are easily defined as the art of learning what is business and what is home. It’s a fine art, though relatively easy to master. It’s all about giving yourself permission to work.
Most of us equate work with pay and it’s sometimes hard to get paid as a start out freelance anything. Thinking of it as an investment in your future may be a comfort to you, but little comfort to those around you who expect that best selling piece yesterday. So, I give myself permissions. I am allowed to work for non-paying sites, it’s exposure and advertising. I am allowed to donate to friends, because the currency of friendship is global.
There is no point in conducting yourself as a professional and not taking on some business practices. At certain times of the day, my answering machine catches the phone calls, and I can decide whether to answer them or let them leave me a message. I expect my partner and his family to indulge my need to work on my own sometimes, and to that end, both my family and his take the children away a couple of times a month. I accomplish more when they are here though as they are my inspiration and part of my reason for working.
Finally, you have to give yourself permission to not be a perfectionist. If, like me, you see housework as never-ending, I’d suggest joining a program like Flylady (www.flylady.net). She tells you how to clean without procrastinating, and how to do it in small steps. It has made a major difference to the amount of time I spend cleaning, and my house is cleaner than ever. Less junk, less mess. And while you declutter your house, declutter your soul.
Guilt has no place in the hearts of anyone who wants to make themselves a success. I used to tear myself apart cause I worked long hours writing and doing artwork, just as I did when I worked outside the home when my son was a baby. I couldn’t do it. So the next time the guilt bug bites…dare to dream!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By Donna “Kai” Wilson. http://personal.kaiberie.com for all her current works and news.
The webmaven and owner of the Bipolarbears site, she is a passionate campaigner for accurate information regarding the true nature of mental health aspects and the correct diagnosis of those who need to be helped.
Last month I touched on acceptance and how it affects our attitude. The ultimate truth in all our lives is that no matter what our beliefs, no matter what we tell ourselves, sooner or later, if unchecked, un accepted and unmonitored, our mental health issues could cause problems. Problems that can be minimized or at least anticipated to a certain degree if it is accepted there is a reason for how we are feeling.
It’s a fleeting moment most of the time: understanding that what you are doing is not directly within your control, but with adjustment could be. It sounds funny, but control, like every other imposed pattern, relative and highly subjective to the level of acceptance you carry with you.
I know a lot of people that I attend the local mental health unit with who still deny their diagnosis. Two of them are hospitalized, on average, once a year, their families cannot deal with them, and are a mess. They know it too, but still won’t accept that they are X. Treatment for them is a circle, and a rather vicious one at that. Medication, counseling, they think they are better, and sometimes they are, though relapse is something that some of us face. And then….well, then they either are fine and continue with their life and don’t get any worse, or something triggers the cycle again. Sometimes it is never gone and people fool themselves into thinking things are ok. Back at the beginning of the cycle, sometimes people feel it’s hopeless, sometimes they believe they’ll be fine. And then, in many cases, the circle starts again, with the added element of knowing that you’ve been here before. Acceptance could change that circle to a spiral, or remove it completely.
Acceptance, especially of a mental health issue, is perceived as defeat. Perception can be relative though, and the relativity of every situation is based, in part on tolerance.
Tolerance and acceptance are bed mates: long thought to be a mythological status, some people can take infinite pain and suffering. Others cry when they type too hard, or when they bark their shin. There’s usually a connection between the two, your tolerance increases the more you accept. You can tolerate your own weaknesses, and those of others, without making excuses for yourself, or them.
You can tolerate people asking questions, without getting up tight or giving advice that you do not feel comfortable with, because you are comfortable inside your own skin.
Acceptance is about realizing that you are YOU, with or without the labels. A person isn’t their job, isn’t their status, isn’t their home, isn’t their hair or eye colour. Their name is another label; it means nothing to your personal ID, not when it comes down to it, or we wouldn’t be able to adopt different names and remain the same person. Labels are for definition, and society is geared to understanding ‘where you fit’. Acceptance is about truly knowing the answer to that one and supplying it with confidence, along with anything that people need to know. And it is that crunch that needs to be addressed in anyone with mental health concerns.
Our personality, underneath, above, around our concerns, is probably constant, though sometimes we don’t realism it. There is no way to tell if we would be different “without” because behavior in most people, on the surface is in a constant state of flux. Like the waves of the sea, we change. We change in different circumstances, in different context. It’s like having a room decorated for different visitors; we adjust our behavior in the presence of others. Beneath all that though, is the person in the centre of it all. At the eye of what probably sometimes feels like a storm is a beautiful person in need of acceptance. Understanding that is the beginning to dealing with any mental health concern.
This acceptance is actually two-fold. The first is acknowledgment that there are influences to our behaviour that need to be tracked and either controlled or allowed for without making excuse and the other is to accept that though this is us, it’s not US. We are not the sum of our actions, and though they are sometimes all others remember about us, that in understanding that sometimes things are outside of our control, we can actually work to minimize ‘damage’.
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