Since the release of Pictures in the Dark, we’ve had lots of praise and encouragement for our work as ‘proactive’ bi-polarbears. But I’m wondering if what we’re being praised for is actually proactivism, or just simple common sense.
I’m 28 - I turned 28 last November. I’ve got the common sense of a puppy in a new house. I love to explore everything. But even *I* know that if something feels wrong, you should look into it. That’s common sense.
If someone tells you that bipolar disorder is bad, and that its contagious, that its what serial killers all have - why do people swallow this, and automatically shun others because of it? Where’s the common sense?
Proactivity in any community involves taking a stand and challenging anything that seems wrong - bipolar disorder, for example, IS controlable, with meds or otherwise. We’re productive, valuable - RARE members of society. A bipolar with thier disorder in control, that’s comfortable to them, is a great and amazing thing. Look at Spike Milligan - Ben Stiller - Picasso and Da Vinci (admittedly, the last was only suggested as being bipolar). We pay the price of our brilliance in mood swings, and though our currency is tears and days without sleep, I’ll be the first to say that its a good life. It would be better if people would stop asking whether I was normal or not, and wouldn’t I love to function like a ‘normal’ human being.
I am normal. I’m normal for me. Being bipolar makes me no less ‘normal’ or no less valid than others - just means I relate to the world around me in a differnet way.
And that isn’t proactivism - its common sense.
A recent study conducted under clinical criteria highlighted something terrifying for those of us who live with, love someone with, or care for people in our community with bipolar disorder.
(extract)
Relapse and impairment in bipolar disorder
MJ Gitlin, J Swendsen, TL Heller and C Hammen
Department of Psychiatry, University of California, Los Angeles 90024- 6968, USA.
OBJECTIVE: The purpose of this study was to evaluate the outcome of bipolar disorder in the context of maintenance pharmacotherapy.
METHOD: Eighty-two bipolar outpatients were followed prospectively for a mean of 4.3 years (minimum of 2 years); symptom rating and psychosocial outcome scales were used, and pharmacotherapy was rated on a 5-point scale.
RESULTS: Despite continual maintenance treatment, survival analysis indicated a 5-year risk of relapse into mania or depression of 73%. Of those who relapsed, two-thirds had multiple relapses. Relapse could not be attributed to inadequate medication. Even for those who did not relapse, considerable affective morbidity was observed. A measure of cumulative affective morbidity appeared to be a more sensitive correlate of psychosocial functioning than was the number of relapses. Poor psychosocial outcome paralleled poor syndromal course. Poor psychosocial functioning, especially occupational disruption, predicted a shorter time to relapse. Depressions were most strongly related to social and family dysfunction.
CONCLUSIONS: Even aggressive pharmacological maintenance treatment does not prevent relatively poor outcome in a significant number of bipolar patients.
(taken from - http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/152/11/1635)
These conclusions are not new - your own Doctor or GP will tell you these things, citing it as the primary reason that you should be placed and stay on medication. Its important however, to note that ‘even agressive pharmacological mantinence’ doesn’t change this outcome - meds don’t always help. The highest rates of ’success’ with bipolar disorder come from the patients that understand thier moodswings, thier reasonings, thier reactions - the underlying chemistry that changes thier moods, and thier investigation into tailoring thier own understanding and treatement of thier disorder.
Bipolar disorder is debilitating for some people - it can destroy lives, families and support structures that otherwise would survive anything - and its important to ensure that if you, or a loved one, has a mental health issue of any kind, including bipolar disorder, that you are fully informed and can face the consequences, gifts and obstacles of that diagnosis with dignity, pride and preparation.
D Kai Wilson
D Kai Wilson is a writer, artist, and bipolar one businesswoman with an avid interest in bipolar disorder.
Her first book, ‘Pictures in the Dark - a bipolar’s guide to good mental health’ is available today from http://nonfiction.booksbykai.com
Life is ripe with storms–they stir up, gain momentum, and often slam you when you least expect it.
It has been like that lately for me, and I was reminded tonight that this too shall pass. It’s a hard thing to remember when the darkness descends upon you.
Friends are often hard to find when this happens–mainly because we cut them off. We don’t speak up and let them know we need their support. A kind word, a smile, a reminder that they do care is often all it takes to make it easier.
I need to remind myself–and those of you who feel the winds whipping at your hearts–to look around. Don’t be afraid to say “I need you.”
The storm will ease, the sun will shine again–and you’ll be greatful you held onto the anchor your friend was so happy to give–because you were willing to ask.
Imagine, opening around 1000 emails a year, each asking you to talk them out of their suicidal mood, or tell you they aren’t crazy.
That’s what we face, with a smile, at bipolarbears every day.
Could you tell someone though, that they aren’t crazy, that what they are feeling, how they are faring with their newly or not so newly discovered mental health diagnosis is normal? Could you reassure them that they aren’t going slowly insane?
I can’t. I can’t honestly say I’m not completely and utterly off the rails. Despite the control I have over my environment, the support of my friends and family, and of course, an intimate understanding of exactly how my mind works, I can’t really, honestly say I’m not insane.
Mainly because I’m really not sure its a bad thing.
Are you?
I mean, of course – its terrible to be hospitalised – but being diagnosed, though it takes a bit of adjusting, isn’t such a bad thing. There’s a reason for how you feel for a start. The roller-coaster is something you can actually embrace, in moderation. And its an opportunity.
Yep, you read that right – its an opportunity. An opportunity for many things – to learn more about yourself, to find out more about mental health. And to connect with others.
Though, if you’re honest with yourself, if someone contacted you, asking YOU to reassure them that they aren’t crazy, what would your first reaction be?
Every year bipolarbears, my first online project, receives close to 1000 emails, begging for the answer. I’m no doctor, no scientist. And I go off the rails spectacularly several times a year. Yet we’re asked to tell people that they aren’t crazy, that its normal, that its ok to feel this way.
And each of these emails gets a personal response. But I thought it might be good to repeat it.
You’re not crazy, normal is a setting on a washing machine, and of course its OK to feel whichever way you want, as long as you’re not a danger to yourself, or others. If you are, something needs addressed in an environment that may not seem like a haven, but can be about as safe as you can hope for, and that’s under medical care. Not necessarily hospitalisation, but at least under some form of supervision.
Something that you should remember though, is that approaching other bipolars and asking if you’re crazy, can hurt them too. It smarts, partly because some of us have been in that position, and partly because that’s how some of the less knowledgeable members of society see bipolar disorder.
We’re not crazy. We’re not even really different. We just relate to our emotions and feel them in a way that seems odd. We’re still human, still people – still capable of loving, hating, living. We’re still those that you love, those that you work with. Just with a different label.
People need to start taking responsibility for their words – so asking another bipolar if you are crazy WILL hurt them – it hurts me to hear someone say that – to read it in an email. If you’re crazy, and you’re bipolar, and that’s the ONLY reason for it, then, of course, I’m crazy, my friends are crazy, my staff are crazy.
Oh, did I forget to mention that?
We’re not an exception to the rule here - we’re rewriting them. There’s no where in thewhole world that says you can’t be a great person - no matter what you are, or what you have - no where that says you can’t succeed in your dreams. No where that says your perception of the world is wrong - just…different.
I don’t revel in my mood swings, but I’m adjusting, slowly, to understanding myself, and understanding what makes me tick. And I use what I can of it to my advantage.
I’m multi published – a recognised poet, and photographer – an artist of a decent calibre – a coder with a love for all things clients, and of course, a writer. I’m a success.
And I think some of it is down to accepting and embracing that no, I’ll never ‘function’ in an environment that doesn’t take into account my rather special, if not strange outlook, but I can still contribute to the world around me, and do so in a positive way.
All it takes is three simple words.
“Live, thrive, Survive!â€
I hope you’ll join me.
Once a year I find myself in the position of offering an ‘open letter’ of sorts to a community. Last year, it was web design and hosting – this year, its far closer to home.
My name is Kai and I’m bipolar one.
I define myself in those blank, coverall terms, because, like telling people I’m British, or a writer, or artist, or designer or anything else, I am what I was created as. It doesn’t define me, not exactly, but it should give people an idea of what to expect – IF they know what it means.
Increasingly, lately, I’ve found that people just don’t.
Mental health is a muddy torrent of terms, information streams – its messed up even further by the loud and more often than not, flat out wrong assumptions those of US with diagnoses tell people. And to confuse it even further, people think that they can diagnose themselves.
Self diagnosis, in its place, as a tool or starting point when you go to your doctor is wonderful. Its something that, in its place, can help you to start adjusting as quickly as you are able and it means its not a shock out of the blue.
There’s no reason to remain undiagnosed – and no reason to make others feel bad by playing the ‘I’m (this) card’ without actually knowing. Its a disservice to you, and those in the community who have their diagnosis and have buckled down and get on with it. And of course, we have our off days, but…our off days are made harder by the constant downplaying that our language, our communities, and to be honest, the world at large, operates under. Most of us do play the role of the victim too, which makes the cycle self perpetuating.
I’m making this open letter plain – please consider the lives of those around you – the at least 1 in four people, the world over, who are touched by mental health issues. 25% of the world, OR MORE, live with some form of mental health disorder, and we all live with the stigma that’s dual fold – depression is downplayed by the common use of the term in society today, and people can and DO self diagnose without medical opinion, whilst once we are diagnosed, we’re faced with a battle of educating, enlightening and aiding those that we come in contact with to understand who and what we are – and that though we define our illness, and it doesn’t control US, it does, in many ways, control our reactions, our thoughts, our perceptions and defines, emotionally at least, who we are, and how we handle situations of stress, pain, joy, anguish, pleasure. And those definitions are then straight jacketed by the beliefs of those around us. And its time for that to stop.
Mental health isn’t something that’s going to fix itself overnight – either in the personal sense of the survivors we encounter daily, or the survivors we become. Its also not going to go away – and as a global conciousness, I think its about time we REALLY adapted to the idea that people feel things deeply. And those depths can sometimes be painful – fatal.
So the next time you turn around and call someone insane, crazy, or tell them to pull themselves together, to buck up, to take a ‘chill pill’ or the next time you tell someone that a passing down phase is you ‘depressed’, spare a thought for those of us who live, thrive and survive under the very same conditions you’re using to call attention to your bad days. And remember that if you are depressed, though you don’t need the label to get help, the label itself can open the doors you need to the right sort of help, at the right times. And there’s no shame in knowing what you are – just a whole new world of experiences.
Acceptance is a funny concept and a strange word. it can mean
anything from laying a small part of a problem to rest, to
defeat and loss.
Acceptance is calm. It’s colour would be blue, serene, and
light. And it’s one of the greatest healers available to anyone.
To accept, first, generally, you must know what has upset you
Be it your diagnosis or something you think you’ve done, something
someone else has done, or something you can’t change, acceptance is one of
the ultimate ends.
Acceptance is also about facing flaws.
None of us are perfect, and to claim that we are is madness. Our mental
health problems, however, are not directly our fault. We cannot be held
responsible for the ‘flaw’ itself. We may be held responsible for how we
’show’ that flaw to others. It’s also part of our path to accept that some do not
understand and maybe never can.
Acceptance is gradual, and just as time is a great healer, the energy you expend
fighting the issues you accept can be expended elsewhere, in educating others, or
continuing to grow as an individual.
Acceptance is also about knowing, that though you are individual, you are not alone.
It’s not something that you can just do though - there are no tried and true formulae
that will bring you peace and acceptance in one fell swoop. Acceptance is like a song,
you have to follow the tune all the way to the end of the path before it works.
Every person is different and bipolar disorder takes many forms, each with its own set of symptoms and strength. For this reason, one person may never have to take medication, another may only have to take it for a short time, and still another may need medication their entire life. A lot depends on how the bipolar disorder shows up in you and whether or not you have other conditions that sometimes come along with bipolar disorder. As a child, you can not make your own decision on whether you need to take you medication. That choice becomes yours somewhere between the age of fourteen and eighteen, depending on where you live. It is good to understand medications and what each does so that, when you can make the decision, you can do so with understanding.
Kinds of Medications
The most likely medicine you will be given is a mood stabilizer. These medicines help even out the brain chemicals that rule moods and help keep you from having extreme highs and lows.
Some bipolar people are given anti-depressants to help with depression. These types of medications, however, are not being given as often, especially to children.
Other types of medications you may hear about are anti-anxiety and anti-psychotic medications. These often help with symptoms that are present in in some people and can be very strong.
When you are younger, your parents and a doctor makes the decision on whether you need these medications. You can, however, be a very important part of the decision-making.
Your Input Is Needed Too
Parents and doctors can see how you act when taking a certain medication, but only you know how the medication makes you feel inside. It is important that you talk with these adults and be honest about what you are feeling. If the medicine makes you feel sick or dizzy, if it makes you too sleepy or unable to sleep, you need to let the adults in charge know so they can help. If there is anything about the medicine that does not seem right it is better to mention it than let it go. Medication should make you feel better, not worse.
Things to Remember
It is important to keep taking your medication as long as a doctor prescribes it, even if you feel better and don’t think you need it. Stopping some medications quickly can cause you to go into a severe case of mania or depression. Other medications can cause very bad health problems unless they are stopped slowly. If you feel a certain medication is not helping, talk with your parents or doctor and see if they can change the medication.
Even if someone else is also bipolar, you must never take their medication or share yours with them. Each of you is different and medications that help one person may actually harm another person. Never share medication and never take more than is prescribed. You should also never take any medication that is not given to you by a nurse, doctor or your parents, unless your parents have given you permission to do so.
Maybe one day you will no longer need to take medication for bipolar disorder and that would be wonderful. However, if you should always need it, that is also okay. Nobody enjoys taking medication every day, but if it can help you live a full life, it is worth it.
You have been told you have something called bipolar disorder. Right now, you may be feeling confused, scared or angry. Maybe you feel all three. This is okay. You have many questions and that is also okay. I will try to answer some of them for you.
What causes bipolar disorder?
Everybody’s brain contains chemicals that make their body and brain work like a machine. These chemicals help your body grow and change. They tell you when something hurts or when you are in danger. They also help you feel emotions like happiness, sadness, anger or love. Most of the time, these chemicals work without us noticing they are there.
In some people, the chemicals that help control moods (neurotransmitters) don’t work as expected. When your brain produces too much of one chemical you become too happy. Happy is good, but too happy can create problems. This is called mania. Your brain then tries to even out your emotions and may produce too much of another chemical or stop producing the one that made you feel manic. When this happens, you can become too sad. This is called depression. Going from mania to depression, then back to mania again is called cycling. Cycling is the main symptom of bipolar disorder.
Does this mean I’m crazy?
No!! Bipolar disorder is a difference in the working of your brain. This does not make you crazy, bad, or anything like that. It just means your brain works differently. Many times you will need medication to help your moods become less drastic, but people take medications every day to make there hearts work better or to keep their blood pressure from going too high or too low. Many intelligent, productive people have bipolar disorder.
How did I get bipolar disorder?
Nobody knows for sure why some brains work differently than others. Scientists do know bipolar disorder is genetic, just like eye or hair color. This means if one of your parents or grandparents have it, your chances of having bipolar disorder are greater. Someday, scientists may be able to change this. For now, they just know that nobody caused this disorder, it just happened.
Will my bipolar disorder go away?
Doctors have not yet found a way to get rid of bipolar disorder. There are many things you can do, however, to control it and live a very productive life. The doctor will probably want you to take some medicine. This will help your brain create the correct chemicals. You may also be asked to talk to a counselor for a time. This person will help you understand better what is going on inside you. Best of all, this person will help you learn what things you can do to become the best person you can be.
Do I have to take medication?
Most people find medications helps them deal with the changes of bipolar. There are some, however, who do not take medication. They have learned how to manage their symptoms without aid of medication. Taking medication is what is most often recommended, but that will be a decision you need to make for yourself. Ask questions and learn all you can about any medication suggested, then you will be able to make a better-informed decision.
We will talk more about bipolar disorder in future articles. The most important thing to remember right now is that you have bipolar disorder, but it is only part of the wonderful human being you are. It is scary at first, but the more you learn, the less scary it gets. Work with your parents and doctor and, in time, you will be able to see this difference can be a good thing once you have it in control.
[Mania] [Depression]
Senior editor Joyce Anthony.
(added back into the archives from retrieved files from the Internet archive)
Article Title: Dare to Dream
Author Name: Donna “Kai” Wilson
Contact Email Address: Donnakaiwilson at gmail.com
Category: Mental Health/motivational
Word Count: 657
Copyright Date: 2003
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dare to Dream
Donna “Kai” Wilson, web mistress/owner, Bipolarbears site
www.bi-polarbears.com
I was asked recently about my attitudes to work and why I do so many things. I was younger than the person in question, and thought I’m more established, I’ve only been working seriously for a year. This person was a success in her own right, though on a different level to me.
I raise my two children, both under 4, and care for my house and my family diligently. I own numerous companies and websites, and co-own an ‘enterprise’ that incorporates all of these ventures. I’m an article writer and moderator for a successful writers group, I work my ass off from 8 in the morning till 2 the next morning most days. I do this though because I want to.
My ‘secret’?
Basically I dare to dream. Many people I know don’t feel that they are worthy of following their dreams or even if they have followed it for a few years, to take the next step.
Daring to dream isn’t easy. Giving yourself permission to work guiltlessly is something that needs to be built upon.
The first step is acting professionally. If you are a SAHWP (stay at home Worker Parent) then you need to define boundaries and business practices. Give yourself permission to work during the day, even if it’s snatched here and there at first. Work out when your muse and optimal working times occur and take that first step to fulfilling your dreams. In other words, if you write best at three in the afternoon, with a hot cup of coffee and napping kids, do that. If you work best late at night, then do so, remembering though to cater to the needs of your sleeping patterns.
There is no point in telling people that you are a professional writer unless you reflect that in your work practices. Work practices are easily defined as the art of learning what is business and what is home. It’s a fine art, though relatively easy to master. It’s all about giving yourself permission to work.
Most of us equate work with pay and it’s sometimes hard to get paid as a start out freelance anything. Thinking of it as an investment in your future may be a comfort to you, but little comfort to those around you who expect that best selling piece yesterday. So, I give myself permissions. I am allowed to work for non-paying sites, it’s exposure and advertising. I am allowed to donate to friends, because the currency of friendship is global.
There is no point in conducting yourself as a professional and not taking on some business practices. At certain times of the day, my answering machine catches the phone calls, and I can decide whether to answer them or let them leave me a message. I expect my partner and his family to indulge my need to work on my own sometimes, and to that end, both my family and his take the children away a couple of times a month. I accomplish more when they are here though as they are my inspiration and part of my reason for working.
Finally, you have to give yourself permission to not be a perfectionist. If, like me, you see housework as never-ending, I’d suggest joining a program like Flylady (www.flylady.net). She tells you how to clean without procrastinating, and how to do it in small steps. It has made a major difference to the amount of time I spend cleaning, and my house is cleaner than ever. Less junk, less mess. And while you declutter your house, declutter your soul.
Guilt has no place in the hearts of anyone who wants to make themselves a success. I used to tear myself apart cause I worked long hours writing and doing artwork, just as I did when I worked outside the home when my son was a baby. I couldn’t do it. So the next time the guilt bug bites…dare to dream!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By Donna “Kai” Wilson. http://personal.kaiberie.com for all her current works and news.
The webmaven and owner of the Bipolarbears site, she is a passionate campaigner for accurate information regarding the true nature of mental health aspects and the correct diagnosis of those who need to be helped.
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