Live, thrive, survive

Its been a busy couple of months here - for whatever reason, the content I had queued for you guys wasn’t clearing the queue and posting itself, so over the next day or so I’m probably going to reinstall wordpress and import everything again.  Its not even letting me save them as published, oddly.

Anyway - I haven’t forgotten you - I just had other things going on.  We’re looking at a November release for the 2nd edition of Pictures in the Dark - I’ve chosen not to release it over the summer, simply because I’m a mother first, and author whenever I have time.  We’re also going to be ramping up our posting schedule here - and hopefully (fingers crossed) gaining a couple of new bloggers along the way.

If you’d like to read a small, free report I put together on moodswings, head on over to http://bipolarhometruths.com and let me know what you think!   I wrote it primarily for bipolars, and would love your feedback.

Filed under: Uncategorized on June 5th, 2007 | No Comments »

I’ve spent the last year and a half or so researching books, and writing, but time and again I come back to what makes bipolars so special.

I’ve discovered that there’s no one profile of bipolars.  There’s no one way to spot us, or others - and we’re all equally unique.  Which means that the last couple of months, since I met up with a family member that wished that bipolars could have the disorder irradicated, and that there was a way to treat bipolar disorder so that it didn’t exist - I’ve been questioning what I am and what it all means to me.

The long and short of it is that bipolar disorder, for me at least, is a blessing and a curse.  There are some places I wish I could interact and deal with things better.  I wish it were easier on my partner - and I wish I didn’t have the completley obsessive trait that goes with some bipolar subfunctions.

But having said that, I love that I can work on a couple of dozen things at once (and finish them!) and I don’t really ‘think’ the way I should - which means I can see odd things - patterns and downright warped ideas.  Its a great talent for a writer - seeing things differently makes things really easy to come up with ideas that others might not.

So, I guess, I’m saying that we’re all equally unique - and bipolar disorder isn’t always a bad thing.

What do you think?

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Op-eds on May 17th, 2007 | No Comments »

Since the release of Pictures in the Dark, we’ve had lots of praise and encouragement for our work as ‘proactive’ bi-polarbears.  But I’m wondering if what we’re being praised for is actually proactivism, or just simple common sense.

I’m 28 - I turned 28 last November.  I’ve got the common sense of a puppy in a new house.  I love to explore everything.  But even *I* know that if something feels wrong, you should look into it.  That’s common sense.

If someone tells you that bipolar disorder is bad, and that its contagious, that its what serial killers all have - why do people swallow this, and automatically shun others because of it?  Where’s the common sense?

Proactivity in any community involves taking a stand and challenging anything that seems wrong - bipolar disorder, for example, IS controlable, with meds or otherwise.  We’re productive, valuable - RARE members of society.  A bipolar with thier disorder in control, that’s comfortable to them, is a great and amazing thing.  Look at Spike Milligan - Ben Stiller -  Picasso and Da Vinci (admittedly, the last was only suggested as being bipolar).  We pay the price of our brilliance in mood swings, and though our currency is tears and days without sleep, I’ll be the first to say that its a good life.  It would be better if people would stop asking whether I was normal or not, and wouldn’t I love to function like a ‘normal’ human being.

I am normal.  I’m normal for me.  Being bipolar makes me no less ‘normal’ or no less valid than others - just means I relate to the world around me in a differnet way.

And that isn’t proactivism - its common sense.

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Mental wellness, Op-eds on February 19th, 2007 | 1 Comment »

Recent studies suggest that there may be a stronger link between migranes and mental health disorders than was currently accepted.  Up to 40% of bipolars questioned (out of 108 patients) reported migranes - and its slightly higher in women than men.  There is now suggestion that bipolars should also be screened for migranes, and more.

Ironically, the one time I’ve been placed on meds for bipolar disorder, it was a drug they’d use to treat migraines in the first place, something I haven’t seen any of the studies address - is it possible that the medication I was put on triggered my migranes?  We already know that it made me severely photosenstive for several years, something I’m only just getting control of now.

Bipolar disorder, with migranes might even be a subtype of bipolar disorder itself, the results were that high.  It’s both good and bad news for bipolars, in part because of the medication ‘connection’ that I’ve suggested above (both ways - if Sodium Valporate is used to treat both bipolar disorder and migraines then this is a very good thing - it should lower the overall amount of medication a bipolar needs to take).
I have migranes - I have done for close to three years, but was only effectively diagnosed with migranes proper in May 2006, just before we moved house.  I’ve been placed on a ‘one off’ medication called ‘Sumatriptan’ that I can take up to twice a day whenever I’ve got a serious migrane - I only ever take them when I’m in serious pain.

Migraines are caused, they believe, because the brain isn’t producing seratonin correctly (another reason that I’m surprised it took so long to make the link between migranes and mental health) and Sumatriptan  stops that.  But as it’s close to seratonin in makeup, I have to wonder if its doing my mental state any good, and if that’s why it appears to work.

I’m curious about those of us out there that read regularly - do you get migranes?  Are you on any medication to help you with them?

Filed under: Uncategorized on January 31st, 2007 | No Comments »

“Mental health isn’t contagious.
It can be genetic.
Mental health isn’t a joke
Though we do sometimes laugh about it.”

D Kai Wilson, talk at a mental health group in 2005

One of the biggest things I’ve found out about mental health in the last nine years is that there are no concrete answers.
Its kinda hard to look back on the last several years and realise I was diagnosed with a mental health illness at nineteen.
Nineteen.

Imagine it for a moment - you’re just out of high school - finding ‘your’ place in the world, and suddenly, you get a bombshell dropped on you.  You’re not ‘just moody’, you’re depressed and its not as easy as to just snap out of as you may have been lead to believe.

And though things have advanced, incredibly, in the nine years since my diagnosis (and the slightly later one of bipolar disorder, seven years ago) things still haven’t changed ENOUGH.

True, for some people its now hip, and important to have a label that says that thier behaviour has a reason - its used as an excuse more and more nowadays.  A celeb’s doing something wierd?
Oh, of course, they’re depressed, forgive them for it.

And yet, on the other side of the sword,  people aren’t supported and are sometimes, flat out rejected when they find themselves in the same situation.
I say that we should extend the tolerance only as far as supporting people through the consequences, not to outright forgiveness.

Filed under: Information, Mental wellness on January 19th, 2007 | No Comments »

A recent study conducted under clinical criteria highlighted something terrifying for those of us who live with, love someone with, or care for people in our community with bipolar disorder.

(extract)
Relapse and impairment in bipolar disorder

MJ Gitlin, J Swendsen, TL Heller and C Hammen
Department of Psychiatry, University of California, Los Angeles 90024- 6968, USA.

OBJECTIVE: The purpose of this study was to evaluate the outcome of bipolar disorder in the context of maintenance pharmacotherapy.
METHOD: Eighty-two bipolar outpatients were followed prospectively for a mean of 4.3 years (minimum of 2 years); symptom rating and psychosocial outcome scales were used, and pharmacotherapy was rated on a 5-point scale.
RESULTS: Despite continual maintenance treatment, survival analysis indicated a 5-year risk of relapse into mania or depression of 73%. Of those who relapsed, two-thirds had multiple relapses. Relapse could not be attributed to inadequate medication. Even for those who did not relapse, considerable affective morbidity was observed. A measure of cumulative affective morbidity appeared to be a more sensitive correlate of psychosocial functioning than was the number of relapses. Poor psychosocial outcome paralleled poor syndromal course. Poor psychosocial functioning, especially occupational disruption, predicted a shorter time to relapse. Depressions were most strongly related to social and family dysfunction.
CONCLUSIONS: Even aggressive pharmacological maintenance treatment does not prevent relatively poor outcome in a significant number of bipolar patients.

(taken from - http://ajp.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/abstract/152/11/1635)

These conclusions are not new - your own Doctor or GP will tell you these things, citing it as the primary reason that you should be placed and stay on medication. Its important however, to note that ‘even agressive pharmacological mantinence’ doesn’t change this outcome - meds don’t always help. The highest rates of ’success’ with bipolar disorder come from the patients that understand thier moodswings, thier reasonings, thier reactions - the underlying chemistry that changes thier moods, and thier investigation into tailoring thier own understanding and treatement of thier disorder.

Bipolar disorder is debilitating for some people - it can destroy lives, families and support structures that otherwise would survive anything - and its important to ensure that if you, or a loved one, has a mental health issue of any kind, including bipolar disorder, that you are fully informed and can face the consequences, gifts and obstacles of that diagnosis with dignity, pride and preparation.

D Kai Wilson

D Kai Wilson is a writer, artist, and bipolar one businesswoman with an avid interest in bipolar disorder.
Her first book, ‘Pictures in the Dark - a bipolar’s guide to good mental health’ is available today from http://nonfiction.booksbykai.com

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Information, Mental wellness, Op-eds on January 9th, 2007 | 4 Comments »

While a blog is great for all of the mutable, shifting information we store on the site, our OP-eds and more, I’m building reference and resource sections behind the blog so that we can use them, partially as reference for things we’re referring to, and partially to offer yet more information on bipolar disorders and mental health.

We’ll be taking requests for sections, but the list so far is ‘Parenting and mental health’, ‘work and mental health’, Mental health awareness, conditions and medical information and ‘reference’ where we’ll, hopefully, store information on herbs, medication, ‘etc’.  Eventually, we’ll also add a news blog, with summaries of everything that’s going on in the mental health community.

So that’s where we’re at just now.

Filed under: Information on October 23rd, 2006 | No Comments »

Over the coming weeks, we’ll be adding articles and content to our site - complete series on depression, treatements for depression, and of course, news about our first book, and sites that we’re attaching to that

We take mental health very seriously at bi-polarbears so we’re working hard to ensure that the sites are suitable, and can be considered to be valuable, and worthwhile.

We’d love your feedback, here - or at the email address provided in each section.  Watch this space!

Filed under: Resources on October 19th, 2006 | No Comments »

Life is ripe with storms–they stir up, gain momentum, and often slam you when you least expect it.

It has been like that lately for me, and I was reminded tonight that this too shall pass. It’s a hard thing to remember when the darkness descends upon you.

Friends are often hard to find when this happens–mainly because we cut them off. We don’t speak up and let them know we need their support. A kind word, a smile, a reminder that they do care is often all it takes to make it easier.

I need to remind myself–and those of you who feel the winds whipping at your hearts–to look around. Don’t be afraid to say “I need you.”

The storm will ease, the sun will shine again–and you’ll be greatful you held onto the anchor your friend was so happy to give–because you were willing to ask.

Filed under: Joyce A Anthony, Mental wellness, Op-eds on September 4th, 2006 | No Comments »

Imagine, opening around 1000 emails a year, each asking you to talk them out of their suicidal mood, or tell you they aren’t crazy.

That’s what we face, with a smile, at bipolarbears every day.

Could you tell someone though, that they aren’t crazy, that what they are feeling, how they are faring with their newly or not so newly discovered mental health diagnosis is normal? Could you reassure them that they aren’t going slowly insane?

I can’t. I can’t honestly say I’m not completely and utterly off the rails. Despite the control I have over my environment, the support of my friends and family, and of course, an intimate understanding of exactly how my mind works, I can’t really, honestly say I’m not insane.

Mainly because I’m really not sure its a bad thing.

Are you?

I mean, of course – its terrible to be hospitalised – but being diagnosed, though it takes a bit of adjusting, isn’t such a bad thing. There’s a reason for how you feel for a start. The roller-coaster is something you can actually embrace, in moderation. And its an opportunity.

Yep, you read that right – its an opportunity. An opportunity for many things – to learn more about yourself, to find out more about mental health. And to connect with others.

Though, if you’re honest with yourself, if someone contacted you, asking YOU to reassure them that they aren’t crazy, what would your first reaction be?

Every year bipolarbears, my first online project, receives close to 1000 emails, begging for the answer. I’m no doctor, no scientist. And I go off the rails spectacularly several times a year. Yet we’re asked to tell people that they aren’t crazy, that its normal, that its ok to feel this way.

And each of these emails gets a personal response. But I thought it might be good to repeat it.

You’re not crazy, normal is a setting on a washing machine, and of course its OK to feel whichever way you want, as long as you’re not a danger to yourself, or others. If you are, something needs addressed in an environment that may not seem like a haven, but can be about as safe as you can hope for, and that’s under medical care. Not necessarily hospitalisation, but at least under some form of supervision.

Something that you should remember though, is that approaching other bipolars and asking if you’re crazy, can hurt them too. It smarts, partly because some of us have been in that position, and partly because that’s how some of the less knowledgeable members of society see bipolar disorder.

We’re not crazy. We’re not even really different. We just relate to our emotions and feel them in a way that seems odd. We’re still human, still people – still capable of loving, hating, living. We’re still those that you love, those that you work with. Just with a different label.

People need to start taking responsibility for their words – so asking another bipolar if you are crazy WILL hurt them – it hurts me to hear someone say that – to read it in an email. If you’re crazy, and you’re bipolar, and that’s the ONLY reason for it, then, of course, I’m crazy, my friends are crazy, my staff are crazy.

Oh, did I forget to mention that?

We’re not an exception to the rule here - we’re rewriting them.  There’s no where in thewhole world that says you can’t be a great person - no matter what you are, or what you have - no where that says you can’t succeed in your dreams.  No where that says your perception of the world is wrong - just…different.

I don’t revel in my mood swings, but I’m adjusting, slowly, to understanding myself, and understanding what makes me tick. And I use what I can of it to my advantage.

I’m multi published – a recognised poet, and photographer – an artist of a decent calibre – a coder with a love for all things clients, and of course, a writer. I’m a success.

And I think some of it is down to accepting and embracing that no, I’ll never ‘function’ in an environment that doesn’t take into account my rather special, if not strange outlook, but I can still contribute to the world around me, and do so in a positive way.

All it takes is three simple words.

“Live, thrive, Survive!”

I hope you’ll join me.

Filed under: D Kai Wilson, Mental wellness, Op-eds on August 31st, 2006 | 1 Comment »