(added back into the archives from retrieved files from the Internet archive)
I was asked recently about my attitudes to work and why I do so many things. I was younger than the person in question, and thought I’m more established, I’ve only been working seriously for a year. This person was a success in her own right, though on a different level to me.
I raise my two children, both under 4, and care for my house and my family diligently. I own numerous companies and websites, and co-own an ‘enterprise’ that incorporates all of these ventures. I’m an article writer and moderator for a successful writers group, I work my ass off from 8 in the morning till 2 the next morning most days. I do this though because I want to.
My ‘secret’?
Basically I dare to dream. Many people I know don’t feel that they are worthy of following their dreams or even if they have followed it for a few years, to take the next step.
Daring to dream isn’t easy. Giving yourself permission to work guiltlessly is something that needs to be built upon.
The first step is acting professionally. If you are a SAHWP (stay at home Worker Parent) then you need to define boundaries and business practices. Give yourself permission to work during the day, even if it’s snatched here and there at first. Work out when your muse and optimal working times occur and take that first step to fulfilling your dreams. In other words, if you write best at three in the afternoon, with a hot cup of coffee and napping kids, do that. If you work best late at night, then do so, remembering though to cater to the needs of your sleeping patterns.
There is no point in telling people that you are a professional writer unless you reflect that in your work practices. Work practices are easily defined as the art of learning what is business and what is home. It’s a fine art, though relatively easy to master. It’s all about giving yourself permission to work.
Most of us equate work with pay and it’s sometimes hard to get paid as a start out freelance anything. Thinking of it as an investment in your future may be a comfort to you, but little comfort to those around you who expect that best selling piece yesterday. So, I give myself permissions. I am allowed to work for non-paying sites, it’s exposure and advertising. I am allowed to donate to friends, because the currency of friendship is global.
There is no point in conducting yourself as a professional and not taking on some business practices. At certain times of the day, my answering machine catches the phone calls, and I can decide whether to answer them or let them leave me a message. I expect my partner and his family to indulge my need to work on my own sometimes, and to that end, both my family and his take the children away a couple of times a month. I accomplish more when they are here though as they are my inspiration and part of my reason for working.
Finally, you have to give yourself permission to not be a perfectionist. If, like me, you see housework as never-ending, I’d suggest joining a program like Flylady (www.flylady.net). She tells you how to clean without procrastinating, and how to do it in small steps. It has made a major difference to the amount of time I spend cleaning, and my house is cleaner than ever. Less junk, less mess. And while you declutter your house, declutter your soul.
Guilt has no place in the hearts of anyone who wants to make themselves a success. I used to tear myself apart cause I worked long hours writing and doing artwork, just as I did when I worked outside the home when my son was a baby. I couldn’t do it. So the next time the guilt bug bites…dare to dream!
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Recovered –https://web.archive.org/web/20081008014443/https://bi-polarbears.com/2003/09/30/dare-to-dream/