G is for Goals – AtoZ Challenge 2020

I was originally going to write ‘G for give and take’ for my Atozchallenge 2020, but the thing is, I discovered I needed to talk about something else and taht something else is probably just as important.

G is for Goals and why they’re a burden and a blessing

I could talk about personality types. I could tell you there are people that are ‘A’ types and ‘B’ types (or as I discovered recently, C or D), but the truth is, I think it’s more complex than that. I’m a very messy person in real life, and when it comes to organisation, the fine grain stuff anyway, I prefer to wing it. Not because I don’t like being pinned down, but because after a certain point, goals become painful for me.

Personalities and goal types

As observed by my therapist and partner and others around me, I’m an incredibly driven person. Becoming as sick as I did became as much about my pride and the dent to that as the illness itself in so many ways. It stopped everything for me – I went from writing thousands of words a day, and having a punishing/rewarding publishing schedule, managing an amazing set of companies and parenting and doing everything I did to… for a little while, the biggest thing I managed was an hour without crying or messaging my partner saying I couldn’t do ‘it’. We came home at Christmas from a family visit several years ago and I spent a month in bed. Ashamed as I am to admit it, I think this is important to say.

For a start….

We’re not just type A or B. As time has passed, there’s been more added. C and D, and X. C and D are variations of A and B, or have traits that could be considered as impossible against A/B types, and X, funnily enough, combines two – or more.

D Kai Wilson-Viola
It’s not that the first step isn’t hard – It’s the fall back down that gets me…

I think it goes deeper than that though. I think the myriad of personality types is completely reflected in the myriad of ways we express our personality. So…in short, not enough letters in any known alphabet.

I don’t know what type of personality I am

None of this informs where I’m a type A, type B or Type X personality. It’s got nothing to do with that, in my humble opinion. I mean, if that helps you work out your goals and everything, more power to you. What it did help me realise and what I’ve hit on very recently is my main problem is I need goals and deadlines, even if they make me uncomfortable. I’m one of those people that believes a little discomfort – a little nudge – is good for people that can tolerate it. And my tolerance for pressure, deadlines, goals…whatever used to be slightly higher.
A lot higher.

Now?  Goals are…

Goals are a necessary evil.  They are painful. But, without them, I can’t function.  At all.
No.  Really. If I don’t set goals for myself, I don’t get stuff done.  Which is why I use goals to give me something to aim for.  I’m more ‘ok’ about it if I miss than I am if I don’t try at all. But equally, I get very discouraged if I’ve got a huge goal, get half-way, and tumble back.

It’s not that the first step isn’t hard – It’s the fall back down that gets me…

D Kai Wilson-Viola

So…today, I’ll be setting a tonne of goals for myself – deadlines for the next six months for books at the very least 🙂

What do you guys think?  Am I missing something in understanding types and goals? Any tips?

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